Saturday, October 31, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009

Thursday, October 22, 2009

talking dog

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Irish joke

This blog could not realistically call itself "Irish I's" and not have an Irish joke from time to time.

So here's one.

Mick took the boat and train to London to appear on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. He did well for himself. As the end of the show approached, he had already won half a million quid.

"You've done very well so far," said the show's presenter in his most serious voice,

"but for a million pounds you've only got one life-line left - phone a friend.

"Everything is riding on this question...... will you go for it?"

"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"

Up on his screen flashed the following information:
Which of the following birds does not build its own nest?
a) Sparrow, b) Thrush, c) Magpie, d)Cuckoo?'

"I haven't got a clue," said Mick, "so I'll use me last lifeline and phone me friend Paddy back home in Dublin..."

So Mick called up his mate and repeated the question to him.

"Fookin hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple......it's a fookin cuckoo."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fookin sure."

Mick hung up the phone and told the host
"I'll go wit Cuckoo as me answer, so."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Dat it is, sir."

There was a long, long pause accompanied by deafening drums and finally the presenter screamed,
"Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won one million pounds!"

The next night back in Dublin, Mick invited Paddy to the pub to celebrate.

"Tell me, Paddy?" asked the appreciative Mick, "How the Jaysus did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"

Paddy wiped the Guinness from his lips before answering,
"Because, ya eejit, he lives in a fookin clock."

Mastercard blowjob

The dude exudes cool

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Closet

Ad for French TV stations Canal+

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Spammer challenge: break this captcha

as found here

be careful when mooning trains...

...that your trousers don't get caught in a carriage door and you end up being dragged half naked along the platform, out of the station and onto the tracks.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Illusion


is this an arm or a naked butt?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

Life: a somewhat abbreviated chronology

Children are so lazy nowadays...

Helpful Golf Hints From Scotland

Apparently an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland


1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.

2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.

3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!

4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.

5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.

6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.

7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.

8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.

9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.

10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, WASH YOUR HANDS AND GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.