Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The war on what was formerly known as terror

According to Joe Queenan, the Obama administration has replaced the term "war on terror" with the euphemism "overseas contingency operations," while individual acts of terror are to be called "man-caused disasters."

Queenan suggest other useful changes:

"cephalic attrition" in place of "beheadings"
"unconditional demographic redeployment" for "ethnic cleansing"
"maximum-intensity racial profiling" for "genocide"
"intra-horizontal aqua-aeonic degradation simulations" for "offshore nuclear tests"
"terminus-inducing claques," "free-lance resolution facilitators," and "off-site impasse adjustors" - all in place of "death squads"

And the bad guys will be referred to as "the ostensibly malefic".

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