More updates from Best Tweets

Last three days collection of amusing Twitter updates from BstTwt

1. ❥ @jdickerson Quick! Daughter & I need an excuse for this mess we just made in the kitchen.Gravity?Defect in powdered sugar bag?Toxic loans?... about 1 hour ago from web

2. ❥ @MISSY_BOO EATN SUM CERAL about 1 hour ago from web

3. ❥ @obxlaw Somehow replying to your 3+ hour old tweet marginalizes my razor sharp banter. about 1 hour ago from web

4. ❥ @_loveclaire If I could do one thing right now it would be something I'm not doing right now. about 13 hours ago from web

5. ❥ @leftbrainstupid I called home during lunch & my wife handed phone to our 19 month old daughter. It was so cute the way she hung up on me... about 23 hours ago from web

6. ❥ @joeschmitt Turns out it really was oregano. Related: These brownies are awful. about 23 hours ago from web

7. ❥ @giromide Really, Bono? MySpace? Really? That's like Moses presenting the Ten Commandments on two cocktail napkins. about 24 hours ago from web

8. ❥ @awryone I now know why they say, "bouncing baby boy/girl." My wife's belly reiterates that we're about to parent a basketball. about 24 hours ago from web

9. ❥ @girlmonkey It may be something in this jazzy piano loop, but I'm starting to doubt my call will be answered by the next available agent.... 9:40 AM today from web

10. ❥ @trelvix I think Twitter needs to sleep in the garage tonight. 8:30 PM yesterday from web

11. ❥ @redrabbit Who needs friends when you have people who know just enough about you to think you're alright! 7:48 PM yesterday from web

12. ❥ @nick [This message is only available to Twitter Gold members. Buy your Gold account today!] 7:44 PM yesterday from web

13. ❥ @sween Zip zip zip zip zip=walking in corduroy. Zipzipzipzipzip= running in corduroy. Zipzipnomnomzipzipnomnom=bear eating you in corduroy... 6:42 AM yesterday from web

14. ❥ @badbanana I'm okay with subsidizing other peoples' mortgages if I can crash on their couches every now and then. 6:27 AM yesterday from web

15. ❥ @obxlaw The way people drive around here,when I see a dog's head sticking out of the driver's window, I'm really hoping the dog is driving... 1:06 PM Feb 19th from web

16. ❥ @badbanana This item is the Hugo Chavez of my to-do list. It's not leaving anytime soon. 12:25 PM Feb 19th from web

17. ❥ @joeschmidt If it takes 10,000 hours to be considered an expert at something then I could give keynote speeches on watching Windows reboot... 12:21 PM Feb 19th from web

18. ❥ @MinorOasis Wishing there was a "your child is the cause of my serious drinking problem" comment option on these report cards. 7:17 AM Feb 19th from web

19. ❥ @crispycracka Me: I'm leaving for work. Him: You look nice today. Me: Your eyes aren't even open.. Did you just auto-respond me?! Him: zzz... 7:07 AM Feb 19th from web

20. ❥ @jkottke How many innocent blogs have died so that Twitter may live? 7:03 AM Feb 19th from web