The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his
head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with
a bonus of £72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. ?He walked out
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old sergeant-major
who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of
my willy to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had received.
But the old sergeant-major insisted and they decided to go along with him
providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the sergeant-major to 'drop 'em',
which he did.
The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the sergeant-major's willy
and began to work back. 'Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your
The old sergeant-major calmly replied, 'The Falklands.'