Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Man who keep feet firmly on the ground have trouble putting on pants.
Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man with one chopstick go hungry
Man who fights wife all day gets no piece at night.
Man who live in glass house should dress in basement.
Man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy.
Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man gives wife upright organ.
Man who sleep in bed of nails is holy.
A streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.
Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
Man who make love to girl on hill, well, he not on level.
Man who sit on tack get point.
Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.
Man with one hand in pocket not necessarily jingling change.
He who go to sleep with itchy arse wakes up with stinky fingers.
Learn to Masturbate, Come in handy.
Man who go to bed with hard problem wake up with solution in hand.
Squirrel who run up woman's leg not find nuts.
He who kisses woman's ass get crack in jaw.
Woman who spend much time on bedspring may get offspring.
Girl who rides bicycle peddles ass all over town.
Man who put cream in tart not always baker.
Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.
Woman who slides down banister makes monkey shine.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Condom should be used on every conceivable occasion.
No difference between man and mouse - both end in pussy.
Bird in hand makes hard to blow nose
Woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary.
He who let woman on top is fucking up.
He who fishes in other mans well often catches crabs.
Baby conceived in back seat of car with automatic transmission, grow up to be shiftless bastard.